Why?? Please Explain...

So, I have been talking to the assistant principal for a couple of weeks. He is very funny, personable, and witty. According to his pictures, he's also funny...He is on Christmas break so he wanted to meet up. I told him that Monday would work for me b/c its very busy at work for me. He said that would be great and he would get back with me about a time and place...that was last Friday...haven't heard a peep from him since. NOTHING.
What happened?? Everything was going well. See, this is where insecurities come in to play. Did he stop by my store and see me and think, "oh, hell no!"?? Did he meet someone else Did he die?? (OK, that's morbid I know, but c'mon?) So, of course I refuse to call him or text him. I texted him last and he never responded. So, I guess its time to move on. And start over....ugh...no prospects yet, but I am still looking...I guess that this one year of match.com is going to have to be extended...

Desperation or practicality(is that a word?)

I have changed quite a bit of my criteria. I used to think that things like "executive/management positions" or "has to like beer" or even "wants to worship the ground I walk on" were of extreme importance. But as I get older I realize that I simply want a good guy. Here is an ideal list of what I would like in a man:
*Patience--I can be a bit much to handle so, this is a must have
*Sense of humor--gotta make me laugh
*Good looking--OK, so I may get some flack for this one, but good looking to me is very different than someone else's taste...
*GOT A JOB--this is a non negotiable
*Doesn't live with their mother, grandmother, uncles, aunts...--you get the idea
*Loves family--I am way too close to mine to be with someone who doesn't understand the importance of them in my life
*Wants kids--now this one I go back and forth on b/c I am not 100% sure I want them, so I may need someone to convince me
*Is kind--I think that kindness is the greatest quality anyone can have.
*Has faith--any kind really. Just has to believe in something.

Now, that's not asking too much is it??

Been a long time...where you been?

Alright, yes it has been a while. After months of self loathing, trying to forget about match.com, and even acting as though I really enjoy the single life(ugh!), I am back!
Let's jump right in:

How is it that almost EVERY man is athletic, toned, and loves the outdoors?? If you are as hot as your pictures then why are you even single?? I mean, my goodness. I had a guy ask me out for a first date and I was super excited. He was cute, blonde, and yummy...Then he opens his mouth and asks if I want to go...ready? A 5 MILE BIKE RIDE. OK, so I may have put that bike riding was a hobby. But seriously, a first date? Even you athletic ladies have to admit that's a bit lame. Who wants to see a girl all sweaty and gross on the first date? Doesn't even make sense to me. Oh, well. On to the other man. A high school principal. Not quite sure why that is so cool to me, but I am digging it. We just exchanged numbers and I will definitely keep things updated...

Technology

I know that I am on match.com so I should have been prepared for this, but I wasn't. Has technology ruined dating? I mean, we look at someone's profile and know pretty much everything about them and we haven't even spoken yet. Then I "wink' at him and wait until he logs online so see if he wants to "wink" back. This whole process is exhausting not to mention a little demeaning. So after I like you on paper, then we go on a date. This is of course after weeks of texting and emailing back and forth. A couple of dates and you finally get to see who the person really is and whether or not you even want to continue dating him. The entire time this process is happening, you are still meeting and talking to other people, as is he. Has technology taken away the butterflies in the stomach feeling?

To facebook or not to facebook

So the craze of facebook has taken over our lives. I met a man. He is an executive chef (yay), he is very cute (from pics), and seems very laid back. We are supposed to meet up shortly. Here is the thing: he friend requested me on facebook. This may not seem like a big issue, but there is alot of personal information on facebook AND, not to mention, a link to this website. Do I want to be "friends" with a guy I am just dating? I am guilty of being a constant facebooker, so my every move would be monitored. Also, how did he find out my last name? Did he look through all the people with my first name and match up the picture? I am not sure if that's a compliment or creepy. We haven't even met up yet, so I think I will 'ignore' his friend request...for now...

The ginger...

Not a fan of the red head. Nothing against them, but just not my thing. So, imagine my surprise when one 'winks' at me. I almost didn't know how to react. A full head of fiery red hair, and a FULL beard. What am I going to do with that? An instant flash of my wedding pictures ran through my head. He seemed really nice and even emailed me that he is not traditionally good looking. I feel bad. Maybe I should give him a chance.


NOPE, can't get the wedding pics outta my head....

Oh, the fake picture...

So, I have definitely heard of people going on match and using an old picture...you know the one where your smile is great, your at the best angle, and you really know when you look at that picture, that you look GOOD....unless of course it was taken 5 YEARS AGO!!
What are people thinking? Did you think that I wasn't going to notice your comb-over, your extra 50lbs, or that you seemed to 'shrink' from your listed height?
This is of course the Indian guy "Tick". So, what do I do? I would like to say that I acted like an adult and simply told him that I didn't feel any sparks...or that I told him that I was too busy to pursue something right now...or even that I wasn't attracted to him....NOPE.
Instead I chose to ignore him. Yup, no texts back, no calls returned. I know, total jerk move....but he did lie first with the whole picture thing so we're even right??

The "tick" is back....

After talking to him about the inappropriate text he sent me (read earlier blog) he apologized and I decided to give him another chance. I mean you can't really sense tone in a text right?? I told him that I thought he was too busy to spend time with me. He said that he really wanted to meet me and to give him another chance. So I am...He has this week to plan a date and keep it.(he has cancelled on me before) We will have to see...updates will surely follow...

Twin Peaks??? Really?

Ok, so I get really excited to meet "Khan". He is cute, very funny, and has that bad boy thing that I dig. I choose Addison and he gives me 2 options:
Black Finn or Twin Peaks.
REALLY?? The 2 places I cant stand the most. I say Twin Peaks b/c at the time it seems like the lesser of two evils. After really thinking about it, I texted him the following:

"I am not a fan of Twin Peaks, and it really rubs me the wrong way that you would suggest it for a first date. Perhaps its best if we don't meet up.'

I thought that i was being straight forward and was proud of me for saying it like it is...

He however, did not feel the same way...
He said that since I chose the place that perhaps the REAL issue is me. He then proceeded to leave me 2 messages saying the same thing. I never answered or replied to any texts or messages he left. He then called me the next day to let me know that I was missing out...

Dating is not fun. If you are unhappily married and reading this...stay married. Perhaps seeing his mug every day may not be the most pleasing thing, but it sure beats a first date at TWIN PEAKS...on to the next guy...

I know what's wrong...

So, "Tick". We have corresponded via text, sometimes thru actual phone conversations, but always brief b/c he is so busy. I understand this b/c I am very busy also. However, I made the decision to be more open and I know that I need to find someone like that too. Now, here is the kicker. I can't quite describe how I feel about this, so I am just going to give a play by play of recent texts and let you come to your own conclusions.

Tick-Good Morning. I'm still in bed...wanna join?
Me-Um.., no...I'm still in bed too...so tired...
Tick-Is your bed comfy? What size is it?
Me-A queen..its super comfy...
Tick-So...did you say you are on birth control?
Me-EXCUSE ME??!!
Tick-Ha,ha...that was a joke...I left off the LOL...
Me-Um, ok...I'm going back to sleep...

This is an actual text that happened...WHAT THE HELL? Is this normal? Do people talk like this? I know it may seem like I may have egged this on somehow, but I promise I haven't at all. This was from left field. I am at a loss...

"Tick"

So I can't meet an Indian guy on Shaadi, so what are the chances that I meet one on match...

Ok, so he is cute. At least that is what his pictures on match show...

He is smart. He owns his own mortgage company and owns a bunch of other businesses.

He is sweet. His father passed away about 6 months ago, so he is taking care of his mother and younger brother. I like that he is a family guy.

He is funny. We text and talk all the time.

I like him. He is the poster child of a good Indian boy. Exactly who my family would want me to end up with.

So, what's the problem? I don't know yet...but I want to have an open mind. We have our first date tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

Shaadi...

I am also on a website called Shaadi.com. Its an Indian dating website. I have been on there for about 2 years with not a lot of luck. Recently I met a guy named "khan". He is funny and sweet. Best part is that he lives in Frisco (most of the guys on this particular website that i meet live in different parts of the country), so this guy seems like a catch. We just exchanged numbers and have been talking for a couple of days. He is really a lot of fun....so whats the problem? Who else goes on an Indian dating website and meets someone who is NOT Indian...ugh...but its not really like I date a lot of Indian guys so its not really that big a deal...
P.S.--My sister is the one that sent me this guys profile...so I am not entirely to blame.

So over "Larren", on to "Tay"

After our last date, "Larren" is so done. He even sent me an email to ask if our last date was as bad as he thought...if you have to ask..so on to "Tay" he is the texter guy. Great texts, but not so good on the phone. He finally asked me out, lunch at Cheesecake Factory. I was pumped, we met at noon. First off, his pictures on match.com were very blurry and I didn't get to really get a clear sense of what he looked like.
First off, he was NOT 5'8", unless the definition of "tall" has changed, this guy was def not tall. He was probably about 4" shorter than that.
Second, he was a little heavier than his profile said. I don't really care about that, but I wanted to know what to expect.
Third, he dressed really sloppy. Shirt not tucked in, frayed jeans, tennis shoes...I didn't want a suit, but c'mon....
So, here is the breakdown of the date: He talked, and talked, and talked....he never asked me even ONE question. Not even how are you....
Here is the killer: He declined dessert for me....WHY THE HELL DO YOU TAKE ME TO CHEESECAKE FACTORY AND NOT LET ME ORDER DESSERT?
That was the nail in the coffin. Sorry, a girl likes her sweets....see ya "Tay"...

See ya!...I think...

Ok, so date #3 with "Larren" was last night...I think the third date is the one where you really get to the nitty gritty of if you are going to like each other or not. We met and it seemed so familiar, so nice...I haven't felt that way in so long...you know, where someone is waiting for you at the bar, and then you get a table...he even ordered a beer for me before I got there. We started talking and I was getting pretty comfortable. I was really letting him get to know me. What I like, what I don't like...he started talking and said/did some things that really bugged me:
1. He told me about the days when he waited tables and since I am in the industry I guess he thought that I cared about all the times he got stiffed by a table...He even said "I'm not racist, but..." REALLY??!! If you have to qualify a statement like that...ugh...
2. He always chooses smoking bars...he said to me that this was something he was struggling with, but he smokes every time we go out...struggling?? hmmm...
3. He was "secretly" texting under the table..C'mon!!! I can see you!! Its lit up, and your eyes are facing down...
At one point I lost it and announced that I thought he was very rude and if he wasn't interested in what I was saying then lets get the tab. He apologized and seemed stunned that I even said anything...
4. We went dutch. Is that normal on the third date? I haven't been in the dating world for a while but that seems kinda lame....

I know this list may seem shallow, but I think it's pretty honest. Aren't these things that "daters"think? Isn't this how you figure out if you like someone? Am I ever going to really like someone?

Butterflies...are they real?

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

Carrie Bradshaw

Over texter....

So I decided not to have all my eggs in the "Larren" basket so I am going to explore other options...
I met "Tay" who is a 40yr old divorcee w/ a nine year old daughter. Not my normal type, but what the heck? He seemed sweet with his devotion to his daughter...We emailed a couple of times and decided to exchange numbers. We texted a little and then finally talked on the phone last night. It was an interesting conversation. We were pretty comfortable with each other(I think he was a little drunk) and the talk was nice. Until I started to notice that I was the only one asking any questions...he seemed to enjoy talking about himself...I finally had to end the conversation bc my puppy was going nuts...he then texted me twice to say goodnight..then this morning to say hi...then to see if I got to work ok...then to see if I was busy at work...then to see if he should come by and see me at work...and then to see if I got off...oh wait, there's my phone going off...............................................
Yup!! It's him...to see if I got home ok...I texted him back about 80% of the time today, so maybe this is my fault?? I am going to try and think of this as positive, I mean, what do I have to lose??

FYI

ALL NAMES WILL BE CHANGED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF ANY LOSERS THAT I MAY DATE...I MEAN, THE GUYS...
B

"Larren"

ok! so back story on "larren"...rhymes with...anyways, went on first date about 4 days ago. The obligatory blah, blah...very polite, never got into the meat of any sort of conversation. Well, ladies(and perhaps gents) I went on date #2 with him. That was last night. Very interesting.
We decided to meet at Sherlock's. I like to think that I have "rules" to dating, but since I haven't been on a date in 2 years I threw them all out the window. Here are the things that bug me:
#1--He has class on Tues and Thurs nights till 9pm so he always seems to want to meet after. My rule has always been only contact me during normal business hours between 9am and 9pm but what the heck, I'll suck it up and meet him late.
#2--He's a freakin smoker!!! It's so gross to me...his profile(after i checked in hindsight) said 'no answer'...
#3--We actually kissed..well, no tongue, but a kiss and a really good one...I wouldn't let him use tongue b/c he smoked all night, but it was fun...
#4--He stayed at the bar after I left...really? I mean, I left at 12:30am...is that early these days??
#5--and probably the most bothersome...when i walked in he was talking to another girl...he was actually standing up at her table and talking to her!! She got stood up and they started talking...
What is he, the overly friendly, save the girl guy??

What does this mean? We have great conversations..and get along well...he likes heavy metal and I like rap, he's a republican and I am a democrat, he is kinda a nerd and I am....well, you get it...

Am I being too picky? Do I just enjoy the male attention? And, if so, then what does that say about me? UGH!!!! I think the most frustrating thing is that...wait for it...he hasn't called/texted me yet today....after he told me he would...(I know, feminists...save me the lecture) I think this dating thing is going to be a bumpy ride....

On a positive note: I met a deputy sheriff that I am supposed to meet next week and a 40 yr old divorcee that seems like fun....we'll see....stay tuned!

b

Here's how it all started...

OK, so I should probably give a back story before I go right into this whole thing. I turned 30 this year and it wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. I mean, I have a good paying job, good health, and great family and friends. I guess the only thing I am missing is a boyfriend. It sounds so archaic just admitting that out loud. Are feminists everywhere shouting in protest? I try and not think about it, but when you are ALWAYS the third, fifth, (insert your own odd number here) everywhere you go, you begin to think that it would be nice to have someone...if only to bring with you places...
SO, as I watched everyone else kiss their significant other at midnight(my birthday is on new years day) I made a resolution to start dating more. Well, weeks turned into months and before I knew it, it was March and I hadn't been on ONE date!
After a couple miller lite's, my liquid courage made me join match.com. I have only been on for a couple of weeks and it has been very interesting so far. I wanted to create a blog for people to follow and see just how hard it is to date...
Check out my next post to see about my first date...